Breakups suck. The emotional and physical fallout is taking its toll in the form of depression, mental fatigue, anxiety, and physical symptoms like pain flares. At least I’m not crying as much now, but the random panic attacks can be debilitating. Thankfully I have medication prescribed to me to help. Knowing it’s for the best only gets me so far. There’s a lot that I greatly miss. I miss him reading to me. The intonations and emotions he expressed when reading, plus sharing the stories themselves, were a form of intimacy I reveled in. I miss gaming with him. There’s new content coming out, and I won’t be able to experience the story and new places with him. I miss his touch. His flexing fingers at me while walking indicated he wanted to hold hands. He’d hug me tightly when we hadn’t seen each other in a while. Wrap his arms around me when I was cooking. When he’d brush
Chronic pain
Course Corrections?
It’s been a while and I apologize for that. I’ve had multiple health issues and personal problems and responsibilities come up. I’ve even had to take a hiatus from one of my contracts due to stress. Things I’m processing: My health and the effect it has on my life and the people around me. The amount of emotional labor I put into my relationships with people and how much of the time I do not get back what I put in. My goals in life and how to accomplish them. I’m finding that the more I think about myself and my needs/wants, the more I realize that I am stupidly over-generous, too kind, too giving and helpful, and there isn’t a single person on this planet who will do for me what I do for others without the relationship being at risk of becoming toxic So. How do I take care of myself as a disabled person who has challenges
Blog Challenge: Liebster Award
A fellow blogger, Kim who writes I tripped over a Stone, shared that she was nominated to do this blog challenge, and nominated anyone who wanted to join in. I’ve been staring at spreadsheets and creating newsletters for long enough that my brain needs a break. I even took a nap today, but still tired. Blah! How it works: Thank the blogger who nominated you. Share eleven facts about yourself. Answer the eleven questions the blogger gave you. Nominate eleven bloggers who deserve the award. Create eleven original questions for the nominees to answer. Let them know they have been nominated. Eleven facts about me: I wear the mantle of Crazy Cat Lady with pride, and like most cat people, there are more photos of my furbabies on my phone than anything else. I’m the human to 5 cats. I am a huge geek/nerd. My house is full of collectibles! Mainly comic books, sci-fi, and fantasy. There is a Millenium Flacon
The Dreaded Pain Scale
One of the things about being a chronic pain patient that I find the most frustrating is being asked: ” On a scale of 1 – 10, what would you rate your pain?” You want me to what now? I *live* in chronic pain. You expect me to categorize it in a convenient little number for the electronic medical record system (EMS)?! As if chronic health conditions were that simple! HA! Another chronic illness blogger who writes I Tripped Over a Stone (check out her blog), suggested that I write a piece about the pain scale and dialogue to use when being asked to rank pain. She thought my dialogue for working with health professionals about pain was a sound one, so I’m going to share it with you, in the hope that it may help. (Skip to the end if you only want the script) But first! We as patients have to change the way we think and approach
Crochet
I’ve been watching YouTube videos on how to crochet. I can knit decently, but always wanted to learn to crochet as well. It’s enjoyable to make things and keep my hands busy, and this is something I can do when I do not have much energy. Hobbies are essential, so is learning new skills. I challenge you to learn something new today!
Doing Too Much
I apologize for the lack of posts. I’ve been dealing with these bouts of extreme exhaustion (with other symptoms) for
30 Things, Rx
Ah, medications. I’m thankful they exist to help me, and others, to improve our quality of life and be able to function as best we are able. Currently, my AM medications are on the light side, I was kicked off my health insurance for a few months in 2017 and had to cut down to the very minimum that I needed to function. Ranitidine – GERD Progesterone – Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Previously I also took Synthroid for hypothyroidism; I ought to get back on that. It helped with my symptoms. My evening medications consist of Ranitidine – GERD Sertraline aka Zoloft – Depression, PTSD, PMDD, OCD Cetirizine aka Zyrtec – Allergies Azo – IC Hydroxyzine – Anxiety and insomnia
30 Things, Relief
Finding relief is quite the task, especially when a person has more than one condition that causes pain or uncomfortable
30 Things, Distractions
I had to think about this a bit and came up with this list. My cats Anytime I feel cruddy I go to my cats. Petting and snuggling with them helps me focus on something positive and comforting Video games Video games keep me distracted and entertained My go to movies Alien, Aliens, Pacific Rim, LoTR, and a few others help me be distracted Music Genre depends on my mood, I like metal, some pop, trance/house/etc., classical or soundtracks Audiobooks If I am unable to focus, I will go for audiobooks while I’m laying down and resting
30 Things, Pain Level
My pain comes from multiple sources; Interstitial Cystitis, osteoarthritis, headaches/migraines/sinuses, fibromyalgia, and sometimes IBS. I have kept a pain diary to track my symptoms and draw correlations between food, activities, weather, and the like, to my pain. Correlation does not equal causation, but it’s a place to start. Especially with diseases that are not well understood. The favored approach to asking about pain is to measure it on a scale of 1 to 10, this tool isn’t the best because it assumes the person only has a single type of pain at any given time. For those of us who suffer from multiple pain conditions, this query seems like a trick question. I’ve started focusing on each individually if I’m in for a specific thing I stick to that. A snapshot of this moment: 1 = No pain, 10 = Worst pain imaginable Right now my overall pain is 5, there are no days when I’m pain-free. Most days I’m
Incurable Jynx 