A delightful person found my blog today! Dr. Perry, Ph.D. from MakeITUltra liked some of my 30 Day Challenge posts (I know, I’m behind. Fatigue and pain have been kicking my butt). I wanted to share one of his blog posts on narcissism (the personality disorder) and how that presents its self in the dynamic between parent and child. It’s worth the read and explains things in a simple to understand and relate to language.
You can find his post here.
I’m not a professional in the mental health field, though I wish I had the money become a Ph.D. in Psychology. I speak as a child who grew up with (what I suspect) are mildly narcissistic parents. My mom was raised by a mother who would have likely been deemed a very narcissistic person. My grandmother did not do well with empathy and love, she was unpredictable, and did not love my mother. She had children because it was expected, not because she wanted to partake in the physical and emotional undertaking that comes with having/adopting kids.
My mom grew up unloved, and ended up developing some toxic behaviors and thought processes. She tried to force me to fit her ideal of what her child should be, and would gaslight me whenever I called her on it or even when I was acting like a typical child. I was a constant disappointment to my parents who ignored my needs until they became a possible red flag for my teachers or other adults. We did not like each other while I was growing up and I have spent the past 5 years undoing a lot of the jumbled mess that has been my emotions and thought processes, while also relearning better coping skills. I still have a long journey ahead of me, and I have accepted that some of the damage will not be reversible. This kind of toxic environment is why I ended up married to a sociopath (this was told to me by mental health professionals) for 8 years until I finally could no longer tolerate it.
I love my parents, but at a distance. Limiting contact has done me a lot of good. Knowledge is power, if you suspect you are in any kind of relationship that is toxic, learn about it. Empower yourself. Even if that link is with yourself.