Narcissism in Parents

A delightful person found my blog today! Dr. Perry, Ph.D. from MakeITUltra liked some of my 30 Day Challenge posts (I know, I’m behind. Fatigue and pain have been kicking my butt). I wanted to share one of his blog posts on narcissism (the personality disorder) and how that presents its self in the dynamic between parent and child. It’s worth the read and explains things in a simple to understand and relate to language.

You can find his post here.

I’m not a professional in the mental health field, though I wish I had the money become a Ph.D. in Psychology. I speak as a child who grew up with (what I suspect) are mildly narcissistic parents. My mom was raised by a mother who would have likely been deemed a very narcissistic person. My grandmother did not do well with empathy and love, she was unpredictable, and did not love my mother. She had children because it was expected, not because she wanted to partake in the physical and emotional undertaking that comes with having/adopting kids.

My mom grew up unloved, and ended up developing some toxic behaviors and thought processes. She tried to force me to fit her ideal of what her child should be, and would gaslight me whenever I called her on it or even when I was acting like a typical child. I was a constant disappointment to my parents who ignored my needs until they became a possible red flag for my teachers or other adults. We did not like each other while I was growing up and I have spent the past 5 years undoing a lot of the jumbled mess that has been my emotions and thought processes, while also relearning better coping skills. I still have a long journey ahead of me, and I have accepted that some of the damage will not be reversible. This kind of toxic environment is why I ended up married to a sociopath (this was told to me by mental health professionals) for 8 years until I finally could no longer tolerate it.

I love my parents, but at a distance. Limiting contact has done me a lot of good. Knowledge is power, if you suspect you are in any kind of relationship that is toxic, learn about it. Empower yourself. Even if that link is with yourself.

30 Things, Allergies

Allergies

Yyyeeeaaahhh… I have a lot of these. >_>

Sinus and topical:

ALL THE THINGS!

  • Grass, trees, pollen. If it’s a plant, I’m allergic.
    • Note: I am that person who sniffs the flowers and has a sneezing fit anyway because I’m going to stop and smell the damn roses!
  • Some molds.
  • Cats and dogs.
    • Is owned by multiple cats, allergies be damned.
  • Anything floral scented. This stuff wreaks havoc on my skin, and I will break out in hives or eczema. It also causes my sinuses to swell up.
    • I had to leave the holiday festivities early because the trash bags we were stuffing wrapping paper into were scented.
  • Latex. In addition to a mild allergic reaction, the smell makes me nauseous.
  • Adhesives, only some, but my skin will slough off and become irritated.

Medications:

  • Welbutrin
  • Penicillin/Amoxicillin
  • Cephalosporins – Keflex
  • Tylenol allergy and sinus
    • Yeah, ironic-ish. It’s a bonding agent that I have trouble with.
  • Vaccines
    • Again, a bonding agent. I’m not allergic to eggs.

Foods:

  • Beans
    • Beans are in a lot of processed foods.
  • Eggplant

These are all things I have an actual allergy to, meaning my immune system gets involved. Vs. an intolerance where the offending substance causes irritation.  I have many intolerances, mostly to foods, that mainly cause a flare-up in my IBS symptoms.

 

30 Things, Favorite Food

Favorite Food

Hmm. That’s tough. I don’t have a single favorite food, so I’ll list my top 5.

  1. Pizza! Sans tomato sauce because the acid bothers my GERD and IC.
  2. Cheese! I cannot do sharp/aged cheese, but I do love a good brie, mild cheddar, and smoked gouda.
  3. Dark Chocolate, enough said.
  4. Hashbrowns, chips, french fries. Mmmm potatoes.
  5. Red Radishes. They aren’t great for my GERD, IC, or IBS but I will still eat them on occasion because I love them so much.

My diet is somewhat odd because I have to eat, or not eat, specific things to avoid flares of some of my health issues. Mainly the GERD, IC, and IBS.

GERD – Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease
IC – Interstitial Cystitis
IBS – Irritable Bowel Syndrome

30 Things, Age and Conditions

I’m going to be busy today and tomorrow so I’m doubling up.

Happy Holidays!

Day 2, Introduce your conditions

If I had a dollar for everytime someone said, “You’re too young to be this sick!”

  • Migraines
  • Allergies/chronic rhinitis
  • Tinnitus
  • Complex PTSD/Anxiety/Depression/Mild OCD
  • Arthritis (Osteo)
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Interstitial Cystitis
  • Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
  • Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder (Super PMS)
  • IBS
  • Eczema/contact dermatitis/atopic dermatitis
  • GERD
  • High possibility of mild narcolepsy and hip dysplasia (Not diagnosed, but the doctors suspect)

Things I had in the past but are better after surgery/treatment

  • Dysmenorrhea –  I had a partial hysterectomy which helped greatly
  • Gastroparesis – It’s not gone, but it is better
  • Gallstones – Surgery helped
  • Tonsilitis – Had them out as an adult, not fun, but I have fewer sinus infections and fall ill far less often now
  • Septoplasty with turbinate reduction – Fixed the deviated septum in my nose and shaved down the turbinates, I can breathe through my nose more easily

Day 3, Age your symptoms began

I’ve had Fibromyalgia my whole life, I can remember wondering as a child why when someone poked me in the arm it hurt more than the reaction other children had to the same stimulus. I also had PTSD/mental health issues as a child. As well as hip issues and sleeping problems, I was really good at naps. I’m still really good at naps.

The PCOS, PMDD, and dysmenorrhea cropped up around 11-13 age range. Migraines also started when I hit puberty.

Allergies and skin issues started when I was 14 and have progressively gotten worse, though allergy shots have helped curb that.

Arthritis started bothering me in my late 20’s, and the GERD, IC, IBS, gallstones, tonsilitis, and increase in fibromyalgia pain happened when I was 26.

The tinnitus started more recently in 2015.

30 Things About Me

A fellow (and more prolific) chronic illness blogger posted this as a way to challenge herself, and others, to blog more. These challenges are a great way to stay motivated and productive. You can find her blog here.


30 days and 30 posts! My answers will be at the end of the list. I am not able to do one a day so I’m renaming this challenge for myself.

1. Introduce yourself

2. Introduce your conditions

3. Age your symptoms began

4. Favorite food

5. Allergies

6. Hobbies

7. Your pain level

8. Distraction

9. Relief

10. Morning medications

11. Night medications

12. Guilty pleasure

13. Sleep outfit

14. Temperature you are comfortable at

15. A comfort item

16. A daily struggle

17. An achievement

18. Who/what keeps you going

19. Something your disability has taken from you.

20. Something you have gained because of your disability that you are grateful for.

21. Who/what inspires you.

22. Favorite helpful product

23. What about your limitations is embarrassing?

24. Best memory aid

25. Someone you met on your journey

26. Somewhere you’d love to travel

27. Your community of support

28. Advice for someone just diagnosed

29. Your worst fear

30. Something someone said that stuck with you after your diagnosis.

Day 1: Introduce Yourself

Oof! We’re going to stick with Jynx for now. It’s not the name on my birth certificate, but it is one that I identify with.  I’m in my mid 30’s and am a cisgender white female who is primarily hetero/demi – sexual. I’m childfree (meaning I have chosen not to have children), not religious, and have no interest in getting married.

I’m that weird person who likes radishes, and my favorite foods usually involve cheese. I drink scotch, neat. I enjoy video games, board/card games, and love horror movies. Knitting, sewing, drawing, and volunteering are some of my favorite past-times. I am slowly chipping away at a Bachelor’s in IT; sadly university is expensive, and it takes me a while to save up.

Still Healing

I’m still recovering from breaking my arm and spraining my wrist. I am not able to type a lot in one sitting.

I found this on Board Panda today and felt the advice should be shared far and wide. It’s simple but powerful for those facing depression.

Another excellent blogger did something beautiful for a friend having a hard time. She created a series of letter to “Open when” her friend is having a hard time, or needs inspiration, or even good times like it being a lovely day. You can view her post about it here.