I apologize for the absence of posts, I’ve been busy with work and having to deal with health issues that have cropped up. In addition to that, I’m trying to get the floors redone in the townhouse so that we can sell and buy a home with a yard. Which means moving stuff around to make room to do that, which means my newly diagnosed spinal arthritis isn’t happy with me.
Looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Heh. My mother also has osteoarthritis in her spine, though her’s is far worse than mine. I’m starting early though, apparently.
Captain Awkward is amazing! The advice the Captain provides for people is valuable and essential because we too often are not socialized with healthy personal boundaries. Both as a giver and as a receiver. My mom is not good with boundaries, she wants to hug, and “mother” everyone and people are often too nice to say something. *I* don’t want to be hugged all the time either, but growing up my consent was ignored, and I had to give/receive hugs whether I wanted them or not.
In regards to this latest act of domestic terrorism:
Yes, I’m going to call it terrorism, the point was to terrify the victims and to then destroy them. To become infamous. The shooter wanted attention, he was angry, he’s a product of a toxic culture both close to him, and in our society.
We need to address this as a society. It seems like a lot of these domestic terrorists lack the emotional tools necessary to handle stress, disappointment, toxicity around them, and even fundamental social interactions (i.e., Being rejected as a love interest/sexual partner). We need to make sure that people are equipped emotionally and educationally as they grow up. Find healthy ways to channel their anger and aggression. And end the stigma and scapegoating of those with mental health issues (like depression and anxiety, or autism, etc.), who are more likely to be victims than aggressors. Tossing people in prision*after* they commit the crime is only reactionary, we need to get in front of the issue to prevent further suffering.
We are creating these people because hate and anger in our culture are encouraged; homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, fear, toxic masculinity, and hatred of non-christian beliefs or lack of religion. Men are still men even if they cry at a movie, like pink or purple, can cook and do other domestic tasks. Aggression is lauded as a masculine trait, well folks, look what that does. It kills. It destroys lives.
We need studies, we need compassion. We need to do better.
Today is a day to celebrate the love in our lives. If you don’t have a romantic Valentine, that’s okay! If you have romantic partner, great! Tell them you love them. If you have multiple romantic partners, awesome! Tell them you love and appreciate them. And do not forget your friends! I feel like we put too much emphasis on romantic relationships and we pass over how important friendships are. I take V-Day to always celebrate my friends as well.
This year my valentine is Tsuki, who has plastered herself to me for the past 4 hours. I love my cats, they are the reason I get up in the morning.
I was also gifted a plushie Porg (I ❤ Porgs) and a lovely card as well. ^_^ I will get to snuggling the other kitties soon, but today has been a lousy flare day. My back, fibro, IBS, and sinuses are all in a snit, so it’s been fluids, meds, and heating pads for me.
Finding relief is quite the task, especially when a person has more than one condition that causes pain or uncomfortable symptoms. I possess multiple chronic diseases, and some of them conflict with one another regarding care. For example, my Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and my Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) have semi conflicting diets.
The first thing I do it try to prevent flares from happening by eating right, stretching, and taking my medications as directed. Prevention helps the need for relief, but this doesn’t always work. I am mindful of my pain and overall health, sometimes it can be all consuming, but I do my best not to let it take over, which is why I feel preventative pain and health care are essential.
This is a list of things that I do to help with pain and discomfort:
Cat cuddles – warm kitty purrs and cuddles improve my mind and body
Human cuddles – are comforting and affirming, many chronically ill people have tumultuous relationships
Tens unit – helps with fibro and muscle spasms
Heating pad, throw – helps with IC, muscle spasms, and cold intolerance
Stretching and moving – helps with tension and muscle aches
Prelief and Azo – Prelief helps take acidity out of food which can prevent IC flares, Azo is a dye that acts as an analgesic for the bladder
OTC pain medication – Tylenol and Alieve help with some of the pain I feel
THC/CBD – I live in a state that allows both recreational marijuana and medical, I’m grateful as it has helped me be able to sleep and alleviate some of the pain
Antinausea – OTC meds help when I’m having nausea
Hobbies – a distraction from pain and discomfort after health has been addressed
People often tell me I 'shoot from the hip', or I'm 'as honest as the day is long' or I 'don't hold back' - people seem to like that about me. Through the years a lot of people have told me that they admire my strength or positivity. I'm not too sure why as I don't particularity see myself in that way .... I think I've always been a bit head strong and I've always had a mouth on me but a moment that definitely changed me forever was when my brother died by suicide at the age of 17 - I was 16 and we were extremely close. I think it was around that time or not too long after I decided f*ck it, I'm not here for a long time and I'm not going to let anyone hold me back, including myself as we all know we are the worst for doing it to ourselves. Maybe the shock & trauma of that happening at a young age made me slightly more formidable who knows!? ... I also fear it might be the ruin of me someday. Anyway I wrote one article and got a positive response so I thought let me find a home for them and if people like them or they resonate with anyone, well that's a bonus! Thanks for visiting :)